Like Father, Like Daughter
by Lord-of-the-Dance-is-She
Summary: A/U, set after 6x04 'Tainted Obligation' but instead, Meredith was not a match for Thatcher and therefore he died of Liver failure. This makes Lexie turn into a very dark and twisty place that leads her to some very destructive behaviours... Rated T for Language. Poor summary.
1. Chapter 1

Like Father, Like Daughter Chapter 1

* * *

A/N: Let me just say, I know that I have no business writing another story, but I just couldn't let this idea out of my head so, keep reading both. Okay, so this is another AU set after 6x04 'Tainted obligation', it starts out like it did in the episode, except Meredith is not a match for Thatcher, so he died of liver failure. I think that Lexie would have gone to a very dark and twisty place, one that could lead to very destructive behaviour… a Slexie story. As always, thanks!

* * *

_Song: Breathe, Written by Anna Nalik, sung by Chyler Leigh_

_2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,  
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,  
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"  
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes  
Like they have any right at all to criticize,  
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason_

* * *

Lexie sat at Joes, drowning her sorrows in tequila, which seemed apt for the situation she was in. She was on orphan, her mother died from the freaking hiccups and her father drank himself to death, it was all she could do not to break down from the grief. She was about to down her sixth shot when a soft voice behind her spoke. "Tequila huh? You really are like me three years ago." It was Meredith, of course it was her, like she cared, she was probably happy that he was dead. There was no reason for Lexie to hate her big sister, but at that moment, with the alcohol dulling her brain, she truly despised the blonde as she pulled up a seat at the bar.

"How are you doing Lex? I know that you and Thatcher were close." She spoke with the kind of fake sympathy that they used with patients, it was hard to listen to, knowing how easy it was to pretend to care.

Lexie responded with anger, her words slurred, "How am I doing? Oh, I'm doing great, really just awesome, first my mom dying of hiccups, and my big, half-sister hating me was quite enough for one lifetime. But, no my father is now dead, and you don't give a shit, you were happy to let him die without seeing you, and you did. How dare you come here and ask me how I am, because I am this close to breaking down and I don't need you watching over me." She spat the last few words, and downing the last shot, stormed out of the bar.

Joe had taken her keys so she couldn't drive to Meredith's, and she didn't want to go back to the apartment, to Mark with his sympathetic eyes, so she went to the natural place: the hospital. Entering the front doors, she wasn't sure if she was imagining it, but the nurses and doctors milling around seemed to be staring at her. Stumbling into the elevator, she glared and anyone who gave her second looks, and began feeling the weight of the anguish on her. The doors pinged and she stepped out, and looking for the nearest on-call room, she entered the first one she saw and collapsed on a bed, fully clothed and succumbed to slumber.

* * *

'_Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable_

_And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table_

_No one can find the rewind button, girl._

_So cradle your head in your hands_

_And breathe... just breathe,_

_Oh breathe, just br__eathe_

* * *

Sometime in the morning, she became dimly aware of someone poking her awake, she just shrugged it off and ignored the nagging of a person saying her name. She mumbled something about going away and went back to sleep. Much later on, perhaps after 9 in the morning, she woke up, and, with her head throbbing, for a second forgot that her father was dead, but as she came to her senses and began to feel the crippling pain again. She had just begun to repair their relationship after he had sobered up, but it came too late, since the addiction killed him anyway. Getting up from the bed, she left the room and looked around; none of her friends were around, so she walked down the hall and arrived at the residents lounge. She walked in the door and saw the stares from the people in there, and watched as their eyes fled when she looked at them. "Have any of you got anything to say? If you want to, just say it."

Steve Mostow, a guy who was an intern with her, spoke up first. "Umm, Lexie, we just wanted to say, were sorry, about your dad. I mean I knew you were close." They were friends, so she just nodded at him and proceeded to her locker where she changed into her scrubs.

* * *

_May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss  
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,  
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."  
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,  
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,  
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it._

* * *

Putting on her lab coat and stethoscope, Lexie didn't notice Cristina walk in until she sat on the bench next to her. She seemed serious when she began to speak to her.

"Hi, Lexie, I know that I made your intern year hell, but I'm sorry about your dad; Well, I mean, there's a club, the dead dads club, and you're not in it until you are. People can try to understand, but they can't, until they know, there's no way to comprehend it. I'm really sorry that you had to join the club." Lexie could hardly believe that her old mentor was being so sincere; it was unusually out of character.

"How did your dad-"She stopped herself, because she didn't want to go too far.

"When I was nine, my dad and I got into a car accident, and it was real bad, he was badly hurt, and I tried to save him, but he died before the ambulance arrived. That's why I became a surgeon." Cristina must have really struggled with telling her the truth, because they weren't exactly close. Lexie was about to thank her for the talk when her pager went off. The message was that she was being paged to the chief's office ASAP.

Giving Cristina an apologetic look, she headed off, knowing what the chief would probably want to speak about. She began walking across Seattle Grace's trademark catwalk on her way to Dr. Webber's office, heading inside, the Chief sat at his desk, his brow furrowed. "Please sit down Dr. Grey."She sat. "Now, I am aware that you and Thatcher were close, and I can't imagine how you're feeling, but I insist that you take some leave. Just to get your head strait and deal with the grief, and I promise that your absence won't count against you in the coming merger." With a start, Lexie understood what he was saying. "What about Meredith? Is she taking time off too?" She wasn't resentful of her sister, but she had little patience with her at that moment. Also, she had completely forgotten about the merger in the middle of the crisis.

"Meredith will not be taking time off, I know that she and your father weren't close, and she probably won't appreciate all of the attention." Lexie knew that he was right; Meredith wouldn't appreciate someone hovering over her about her father. Slightly disgruntled, she walked out of the office and bumped into Mark of all people.

He wrapped his strong arms around her as she broke down and began to sob with utter anguish. He stroked her hair, knowing that it was what she liked having done to her when she was in pain. She took utter comfort In his warm body and strong chest, heaving, Lexie took the time to slow her breathing and calm down.  
"Mark, I'm sorry that I didn't come home last night, it was all just too much, and I have to go now again, okay? I love you."  
He returned her gaze and he understood, she was dealing with this in her own way, so he would let her. " I love you too Lexie, and I'll be there for you when you get back." She then kissed him with more passion and desire than she had done in along time, but it only lasted for a few seconds and then she was gone.

* * *

_'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable  
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table  
No one can find the rewind button, girl.  
So cradle your head in your hands  
And breathe... just breathe,  
Oh breathe, just breathe_

* * *

She had to get her keys from Joes, so that would be her first stop, luckily, it was still only about 10 in the morning, so nobody would be there. Lexie walked into the bar, not surprised that it was empty, with only Joe behind the bar, cleaning glasses. Approaching the bar, she greeted joe politely. "Good morning! I was wondering, can I get my keys, I need to drive."  
"Sure, I don't see why not, how are you doing anyway?" He was genuinely nice guy, and he seemed like he wanted somebody to talk to.  
There was no sarcasm in her voice when she spoke. "To be honest? It sucks, my mother is dead and my father just died, and my big sister doesn't give two shits, oh and I haven't even had the balls to call my little sister and tell her. So my life kinda sucks right now."  
"Boy, let me get you something on the house, soda?  
She smiled at him and said, "Gin and tonic please, and I know it's really early, but I'm grieving, okay?  
He gave her a skeptical look but poured out the drink anyway. Handing it to her, she thanked him and downed it too fast to be sensible.  
Ignoring Joes open mouthed stare, she walked out of the bar and got into her car, and she drove to the only place she could think of: Meredith's house.

* * *

_There's a light at each end of this tunnel,_

_You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out_

_And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again_

_If you'd only try turning around._

_2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song_

_If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,_

_Threatening the life it belongs to_

_And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd_

_Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud_

_And I know that you'll use them, however you want to._

* * *

Upon entering the house, it was eerily quiet, and she realised that of course the others would be gone, trolling for surgeries before the merger. Walking into the kitchen, she went to the the place she knew Meredith kept her liquor, and grabbed a wine bottle for herself.  
Collapsing on the couch, she began drinking, and still, the pain was there, and it wasn't until much later that she realised that the bottle was empty. The pain was still there, the dull, aching grief, and it dawned on Lexie how she could numb the pain, and it involved something a lot stronger than alcohol...

* * *

_But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,_

_And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table  
No one can find the rewind button now  
Sing it if you understand.  
and breathe, just breathe  
woah breathe, just breathe,  
Oh breathe, just breathe,  
Oh breathe, just breathe_.

_  
A/N: Okay so here's the new fanfic as promised, and I hope you like it. And for the record let me say, I am not a Meredith hater, but she treated Lexie like crap in the beginning, and well, she must have been pissed.  
Hope you enjoy! And please review!

And I loved this song from when Chyler leigh (Lexie) sung it in the Grey's Anatomy music event.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, so I am so grateful for the response, it's amazing that I have so many views, anyway onwards!  
P.S.: I used some ideas from the episode 8x13 "if/then" because that showed how easily Lexie could fall to certain vices.

P.P.S: There will be some dark stuff in here, plus I don't know much about pharmaceuticals, so forgive me.

* * *

_Lyrics: I will remember you, by Sarah McLachlan_

_I will remember you, will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by,  
Weep not for the memories  
Remember the good times that we had?  
I let them slip away from us when things got bad.  
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun  
Want to feel your warmth upon me  
I want to be the one _

* * *

Lexie was smart, like really smart, smart enough to remember the entire period table, so why in god's name was she knowingly drinking herself silly. She was barely able to tell what time it was, let alone how many drinks she had consumed. She had always been able to hold her liquor, but after a certain threshold, there was no more that she could take, and, falling to the ground, the room began to spin around her.

She heard the front door open and turned her head towards the sound and saw that it was Alex, looking tired and bleary-eyed from working the early morning shift. When he saw Lexie lying there on the ground, he let out a grunt, as if to say 'figures'  
She called him out on that. "What, you never had a crappy day, never wanted to get drunk so badly that you couldn't see straight? I don't need your shit, not now not ever." She was still lying on the ground, gesturing wildly as she spoke.  
Alex merely ignored her hostility, and replied, " Whatever dude, it's just, weren't you drunk last night? I mean the hangovers gotta kick in eventually, so don't come crying to me when it does, I've had enough crazy chicks in my life without you crying all over me."

She was pissed off. "Screw you; you're an ass, just because you can't let anyone love you. You hate the idea of being alone, so you have to make everyone around you feel like shit." She stumbled into a standing position and got into his face.

"You know what, just because you're all married now, it doesn't mean that you're not the same asshole that you've always been. Fuck you." She was right into his face and he could smell the alcohol on her breath, and he knew instantly what this was about.

"You're drunk, it's not even noon, so if you think that it's me that has problems, look in the mirror." He walked off, leaving her standing there feeling dumbstruck. She was alone again, with the pain of her loss beginning to feel fresh again, and not sure what to do, she walked into the kitchen.

* * *

_I will remember you, will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories _

* * *

There was a thin stream of light filtering into the kitchen when Meredith entered the house several hours later, and the first thing that she noticed was Lexie, slumped on the floor against the cabinets, clearly passed out. Sighing, she walked over to her sister and got a closer look, her face was flushed red, and there was tear stains running over her cheeks. She was still wearing her scrubs, and by the looks of it, she had consumed a sizeable amount of alcohol. Lexie looked so innocent and child-like, and it was clear that she was dealing with her father's death in an unhealthy way.

Picking her up with some effort, and carried her to the living room sofa where she laid her down among the cushions. Lexie would have to do this her own way, because Meredith was unable to help her in the way that she needed, she didn't do families and hugs and crap, there was just tequila.

She had called Molly, and told her the bad news, but because of her remote location, she couldn't fly out here, and to make her day worse, she had to identify her father's body, which was depressing and morbid, and made her want to go to her dark and twisty place again. Making sure that Lexie was settled, she headed upstairs to her bedroom, where she succumbed to sleep before her head hit the pillow.

* * *

_I'm so tired but I can't sleep  
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep  
it's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word  
we are screaming inside, but we can't be heard _

* * *

Once again waking up with a headache, Lexie was seriously at a loss as to what she should do now, the drinking didn't help, and certainly talking wouldn't help, so what would? There was the voice in the back of her head, reckless and impulsive, and it was speaking to her, and it was not helping. Her memory and intelligence made her less prone to rash decisions, however, her mind was weak, and her emotions were extremely frayed.

The idea was planted after she had seen how some people used certain 'Methods' to deal with the to's and fro's of life, not wise methods, but effective. Decided at what she would now do, she grabbed her keys and rushed out of the door, not realizing the danger of the path she was undertaking.

* * *

_I'm so afraid to love you _

_But more afraid to lose  
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose  
Once there was a darkness  
Deep and endless night  
you gave me everything you had, oh you gave me life _

* * *

Arriving at the hospital, she once again felt the stares upon her, and ignoring them once again, she headed for the resident lounge. Pleased that no one was in there, she grabbed her ID tag and lab coat from her locker and left the room before anyone could see her.

Walking down the hall, she was trying to be inconspicuous, but she felt like someone was watching her, so she just shrugged it off, and she approached the nearest drug cabinet and entered the code that she had memorized. The draws opened up and she looked for what she needed, the narcotics, and hell, anything with codeine in it. She just wanted it to kill the pain, to stop the hurt, the hurt that she had bottled up since her mother died, and now it was ripping her heart apart like fiery hands had gripped it and were tearing, as the pain was no longer dull.

Stuffing several bottles of her choice drug into her lab coat pockets, she closed the drawers and entered the closest exam room and locked the door and closed the blinds. There would be no witnesses for what she was about to do. She was crazy for doing this, actually crazy, and despite knowing this, that little voice in the back of her head gave her a push, and she grabbed a syringe from a tray. Filling it with as much of the clear liquid as she dared, her breath caught, was she really about to do this? She considered the options, suffer the agony of everyday life knowing that she was an orphan, or feel relief, however temporary. Steeling herself, she made the decision, plunging the syringe into her arm, she felt the needle pinch, and the pressure as she injected the painkiller.

For a moment, she felt like nothing was happening, and eventually, after about 15 minutes, there was a slight numbing sensation in her fingers, as well as an extreme sense of Euphoria. She stood up, swaying slightly, and was pleased to feel that the grief pain was gone, as if the drug had erased her psychological pain as well as the physical.

"Wow, this is… amazing." There was little hesitation in her voice, and she proceeded to speak to herself for a full five minutes. Unaware of what she was doing, Lexie unlocked the door and entered the hall, not at all mindful of what she looked like, or what she was doing. It hadn't been very clever to do this in the hospital, she realised, as all of her friends were around here somewhere, and one of them was bound to notice her strange behaviour. Once again hiding in an on call room, she was lost in a world of her own imagination.

* * *

_And I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories_

* * *

It had already been two weeks since the first time she had turned to unconventional means to escape the pain, and already, Lexie had done it again, several times, on an impulse, in the days after the first one. She kept looking over her shoulder, as if expecting someone to notice her acting strange, which of course, nobody did, Meredith was practicing her usual indifference, and even Mark seemed to act more distant.

The usual high she would get from joys in life seemed cold, and the little things didn't seem to matter anymore, and she always half expected her father to walk through the door and tell her to stop what she was doing; but of course he didn't, and every time she thought about him or even her mother, a new wave grief came upon her, forcing her to lock herself into her room.

Mark had no idea what she was doing, because he was too busy at the hospital to take notice, and, despite the fact that Lexie insisted that she was fine, it was far from the truth. She had just come back from grocery shopping when he walked in the door, looking exhausted.

She gave a quick smile and greeted him."Hey there, how was your surgery, it was a craniofacial reconstruction, right?" She was jealous of him, getting to do surgery.

His face was miserable, and she knew why before he said it. "The guy died, out of the blue, and we have no idea why. Poor guy, he had three kids, and now hes dead. What if it was my fault?" Mark was taking this one especially hard, so she went over to him and took him into her arms.

"It's okay, really, I mean, this happens right? Patients die all the time, and I'm sure it's not your fault. Sometimes people die and there is nothing we can do about it, you couldn't have done anything else." While she was speaking, he noticed the conviction in the words and thought that she was talking about her dad. However, Lexie did not believe what she was saying, not one bit. It was her fault her father died, she could have stopped his drinking, made him quit sooner, and then he wouldn't be dead, and she wouldn't be doing this to herself.

She was still holding him and wanted to kiss him, but she was worried that he wouldn't be in the mood, so she held him at arm's length so she could look into his beautiful blue eyes and say "I love you Mark, more than anything, and I hate to see you blaming yourself. Come on, you need to put this behind you." And at that she kissed him, with all the passion that her small frame could hold; She was exerting all of her pain, regret, and guilt onto the kisses that she was landing on him, his neck, face, shoulder and arms. He did very little to resist, and, without another word, they both slipped into the bedroom and proceeded to make love.

Waking up in the morning next to a naked Mark, Lexie felt weird, very weird, her heart was racing, she was sweating, and she had the worst headache of her life. She got up from the bed with difficulty and immediately felt dizzy, as if the world was spinning around her; and proceeding to enter the bathroom, she threw up in the toilet, despite that didn't have much in her stomach anyway. Her retching must have woken Mark up, because she suddenly felt strong hands pull her hair back to protect it.

She sat down on the floor with him, and, feeling clammy and cold, she huddled next to him, which made him slightly concerned.

"Lex, are you okay?! You look real bad..." he said with concern.

She mumbled something. "Mm fine, just need..." And before she could she could finish her sentence, she passed out in his arms, which made him extremely worried.

"Lex! Wake up! LEXIE! Hold on, I'll be right back!" He was shouting at her now, and, ignoring last night's groceries still on the counter, he practically ran out the door and was banging on the door across the hall, hoping that someone would hear him.

"TORRES, ROBBINS, YANG! GET OUT HERE!" Mark was screaming now, the adrenaline pumping through his system and not caring about everyone else in the building and the fact that he was still naked.

The door opened and three bleary-eyed women were standing in the doorway, looking e=really pissed off.

Callie spoke up first, "Mark, what the hell, its four in the morning, you better have a good reason for waking us up, and why you are naked?!" Both Arizona and Cristina were behind her, averting their gaze and nodding in agreement.

He was breathless for no reason, but maybe he was anxious. "Its Lexie, she passed out, her pulse is rapid and she is clammy and nauseous, come quick!"

"Oh my god, I mean what happened! How's her BP?" Callie's rapid fire questions echoed off the hall and Mark cut across her.

"Look, I need your help, all of you, so please, come now?"

"Sure, let's go now, Cristina, bring the first aid kit just in case." The petite doctor scurried back into the apartment while Mark led Callie and Arizona to the bathroom, where Lexie was still passed out.

Callie knelt down next to her and felt or her pulse, it really was racing, and she tested her temperature, it was high, she had a fever.

"Okay, she needs to go to the hospital, like right now." Callie said this to Arizona, hoping that Mark wouldn't hear, but he did.

"The hospital?! Oh god, something is really wring isn't it? I mean, she was fine last night, like totally fine, she was taking care of _me, _I mean, what could it be?" He was panicking, which is never good in this kind of situation.

"There's no time to wait for an Ambulance, she could be having arrhythmias which will be bad, and so we can't wait. Mark, put some clothes on and get your car; we're going to the hospital, NOW" Arizona spoke with the cool authority that she always seemed to have in stressful situations.

At that, Mark scrambled to get his boxers, then sweatpants and shirt on; walking over to Lexie, he scooped her up in his strong arms and headed for the door.

* * *

_I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories  
Weep not for the memories_

* * *

A/N: Okay, I know that I'm evil for leaving it on a sort of cliff-hanger, but it will be worthwhile I promise. Let me know what you thing, and I know that it was SO OOC but it's all part of the story. Anyway, thanks for reading! Bye!

P.S: Can you guess what's wrong with Lexie? Ten points for whoever gets it right! Oh and don't think that I've forgotten my other Fic, I've just got some MAJOR writers block, so no worries.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Okay, this chapter will feature some time jumps, so I'll try not to make it confusing. And once again, I am not a Meredith hater; she just deserves to feel how Lexie did when they first met. Enjoy: P**

* * *

**_Song: Make you feel my love by Adele. _**

**_When the rain  
Is blowing in your face  
And the whole world  
Is on your case  
I could offer you  
A warm embrace  
To make you feel my love_**

* * *

Because their apartment was so close to the hospital, the car ride only took a minute, but it was the longest minute of Marks life. She was still sweating, as if she was freezing, yet she had a fever, and he was worried sick about her, and when Callie pulled up in the emergency entrance to the hospital, he grabbed her and ran inside.

Despite that fact that it was so early in the morning, the ER was teeming with movement, and she saw Dr. Bailey standing by the desk looking at some patient charts.

"Bailey, thank god, it Lexie, something's wrong, she got chills and a fever, as well as nausea and elevated pulse." He gestured towards the woman he loved in his arms as Bailey stood there, her mouth agape.

She snapped out of it and began barking orders.

"Torres, get Big Grey and Shepherd, they are both on call, Robbins, order a CT and rush her labs, we need to know what's happening. Sloan, bring her into trauma one." He followed into the room and placed her on the table, and began working on her.

"Oh no you don't Mark, back up, you know the rules."Bailey commanded as she inserted an IV.

"No, she's Lexie, I have to work on her, she needs me." He was almost pleading with the short woman.

She was having none of it. "Do I have to call the chief? Step back, against the wall, and shut up or I will restrain you myself." He backed away, frustrated, but he stayed there.

At that moment, Lexie came round and began to speak. "Mark? Are you there?" He rushed forward and grabbed her hand.

"Oh Lex, you had me so worried, where does it hurt? Tell me"

"It hurts all over, my head, my chest, even my legs hurt, it hurts so bad."

"Okay, I'll tell Dr. Bailey to give you some painkillers and then you'll be just fine, okay?"

She nodded and was about to speak when her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she began to convulse. She was having a seizure, a full blown grand mal seizure.

"Sloan! Get out now, let us work!" Bailey pushed him out of the door as she and the nurses turned her on her side and just waited for it to stop. Mark was distraught, and he felt tears begin to fall down his face. She was in bad shape, he could tell, but when it came to seizures there was only one person that she needed.

It just so happened that at that moment, Callie walked in followed by a concerned looking Meredith and Derek. Looking into the window, they saw that she was still seizing, with the nurses running around treating her.

Callie spoke first, her hand over her mouth "Oh my god, Mark, what happened?"

"I don't know, she came round, then she was complaining of pain, and then she just started seizing. I don't know, I don't..." He broke down into sobs and crouched down against the wall, with Callie joining him. Meredith and Derek however, both went into doctor mode and entered the room. They were taken aback by the petite woman's small frame looking so weak, but they pulled themselves together.

Lexie had finally stopped seizing and was now on a heart monitor with a drip containing painkillers and IV meds. Derek leaned over her to check her pupils, knowing that if they were blown, they needed to get to surgery, immediately.

"Okay, both pupils are fine, she is showing no other neurological symptoms; let's get her to the CT to rule out anything else."

"Okay people we're on the move, clear the halls, let's go." Meredith was issuing orders now.

They all ran after her and the gurney, leaving Mark sobbing on the floor next to Callie.

* * *

**_When the evening shadows  
and the stars appear  
and there is no one there  
to dry your tears  
I could hold you  
for a million years  
to make you feel my love_**

* * *

The CT had come back clear, but they noticed that after a little while, her vitals were returning to normal and her symptoms were disappearing, as if she was miraculously better. The doctors were at a loss, but when Meredith got her lab results back, she noted that there were low levels of Codeine and Morphine in her system, which made her frown, but she pushed that out of her mind and went to go check on her sister. She entered Lexie's room where she was sitting up and speaking to Mark with a big smile on her face.

Walking up to the bed she made her presence known by clearing her throat.

"Hey Lex, how are you doing? How's the pain?" She inquired gently.

"Its fine, really, I mean I don't know what was wrong, I feel just fine now though."

"We were so worried Lexie, I mean you looked bad, I thought that you would…" the last word caught in his throat, but she knew what he was going to say, he thought that she would die. Leaning forward, she planted a kiss on his lips, shutting him up.

"Look at me, I'm fine, healthy, just great, okay, now can you get me some clothes, I'm going to be discharged soon and I want to be decent." He left after stealing another kiss.

Meredith had watched this scene and spoke after Mark left. "Okay, so I'm glad to hear that you're okay, I really was worried." Lexie made a small noise of disbelief in the back of her throat.

"What, what now? I'm trying here."

Lexie's cheerful mood had disappeared, and was replaced by a hostile fury.

"Oh, so now you're trying, it's a bit late for that don't you think? Lecturing me on our dad, yes, our, on how I should help him, but you never helped did you, never! He never called you a bitch or hit you when he was out of liquor. You expect me to be the grateful sister, well, you gave up that right when you decided that you didn't want anything to do with me or him. So thank you but no thank you, I don't need your help." She hissed those last words, not regretting what she had just said.

"I'm just trying to be sisterly, that's what you wanted right? Oh whatever, you can take care of yourself, you're a big girl now Lexie, and you've got Mark, I'm sure that you will feel differently later on, but for now I'll just get out of your hair." She headed out of the room, leaving her half-sister in a cloud of anger and resentment.

She would apologise later, but Lexie knew that she had more important things to worry about; did anyone realize what had happened to her? She knew, but there was no way that she was going to admit it to herself. It had been two weeks, there was no way that it was happening this fast, it shouldn't anyway. She began to doubt her actions, but shaking herself, she allowed her mind to go blank.

* * *

**_I_**_**know you**_**_  
Haven't made  
Your mind up yet  
But I would never  
Do you wrong  
I've known it  
From the moment  
That we met  
No doubt in my mind  
Where you belong_**

* * *

The next night she was arriving at the apartment with Mark, he carried Lexie's bag up the stairs and led her through the door. She wandered into the bedroom, and slumped onto the bed, she was too exhausted to do anything else. He sidled into the room and laid down next to her on the bed. He began kissing her shoulder and worked his way to her face, he was disappointed however, as she was already snoring lightly. Sighing, he got undressed and got into bed.

There was something calming about her gentle snores, and he thought about the small box that he had concealed in his sock drawer, the thing that he wanted to give her more than anything in the world. Mark was envisioning a life together, with a house, kids, grandkids, but little did he know that his lover in the bed next to him had some serious problems that could jeopardize all that.

* * *

**_I'd go hungry  
I'd go black and blue and  
I'd go crawling  
Down the avenue  
You Know there's nothing  
That I wouldn't do  
To make you feel my love_**

* * *

It had been a month since Lexie had gone into withdrawal, but she was using again, and despite that fact that she didn't want to admit to herself, she had a problem. There was noticeable weight loss and she began to get cranky and irritated at the slightest things. She was back at work, and she thought that it would make things easier, but everywhere she went, memories followed her, of her father, of her mother, even her mom's dead cat. It was a curse of having a photographic memory, she would never be able to forget anything, her moms' funeral, and her dad's death; the image of his face as he died was forever engraved in her mind, but the only time that she could forget is when she was doing the one thing that she never thought that she would.

She felt like wherever she went, people were staring at her and talking about her behind her back. She felt little happiness from the work that she usually loved, but of course she plastered a smile on her face and pretended that everything was good. Lexie still hadn't approached Meredith, but one day while eating alone in the cafeteria, Meredith sat down next to her, followed by Cristina.

Meredith spoke first, while her 'person' looked on. "Okay, so you once gave me a speech in a bathroom about you loving me whether I was capable of loving you back. Well that's how it is now, I still love you, and care about you, whether you want to love me back or not."

Cristina piped in "Yeah and if you don't agree, then it doesn't matter, she'll just keep loving you to annoy you." Her eyes fell to Lexie's forearms, where there was obvious needle marks, she had forgotten to get the long-sleeved scrubs.

"What are those?!" Grabbing her arm, she got a closer look. She looked disgusted by what she saw.

Meredith was oblivious, "What, What is it?" Lexie waited for the blow to drop, but then Cristina spoke.

"Stupid Lexiepedia and her stupid friends are practicing in each other again. Didn't you learn your lesson the first time Three?" Lexie burst out laughing from relief. Yang thought that she was practicing IV's; it would have been funny if the twisted sisters weren't looking at her with surprise.

"What okay, yes we are practicing, I'm sorry, I will tell them to stop." Lexie was surprised how easy it was to lie to their faces; she was usually really bad at lying.

She got up and headed out of the cafeteria, abandoning her lunch. As she walked away, she heard Cristina say, "Just don't cut out another appendix!" She finished with a laugh.

* * *

**_The storms are raging  
on the rolling sea  
and on the highway of regret  
the winds of change  
are blowing wild and free  
you ain't seen nothing  
like me yet_**

* * *

On one of her few days off, she decided to spend it with mark, he wanted to go out, but she wanted to stay in bed with him all day, and she did. They had spent all of the time just lying in each other's arms, naked, and she was worried about what he would do if he found out, but maybe he would understand… she just couldn't risk that.

Soon someone at the hospital would notice the missing meds, and Lexie didn't know what she would do after that. She couldn't go into withdrawal again, that would kill her. There had to be other ways to sort out this mess, but she couldn't think of them at that time, so she just proceeded to kiss mark and they made love for the third time that day.

Afterward they had the most amazing time together in bed, Mark decided to surprise Lexie, he was going to propose, and he just couldn't wait any longer. She had left to go to the bathroom earlier, because she must have thought that he was asleep.

Grabbing the ring box from his drawer, he grabbed his clothes, put them on and put on his leather jacket, the one that he knew she loved. He approached the bathroom, and not knocking, he entered and was about to speak when he realised what she was doing. She was standing there, with a needle plunged into her forearm, and her face was one of guilt, shame and extreme surprise that he was there.

"Mark, I-I thought that you were asleep. I was just…" She began stammering

He was at a loss, he was truly shocked, because there was no way that Lexie, his Little Grey was abusing drugs. He hated the thought as it drifted across his brain. He was working out what to say, not sure whether to yell or cry or hug her. He was truly astounded.

"Mark?"

* * *

**_I could make you happy  
Make your dreams come true  
Nothing that I wouldn't do  
Go to the ends  
Of the Earth for you  
to make you feel my love, to make you feel my love_**

* * *

**A/N: I know, I know, I'm evil with another cliffhanger like that, but a lot happened in this chapter, and if you have any ideas as to where this could go, please, I welcome suggestions. I believe in giving the readers what they want, unlike Shonda Rhimes.**

**If you feel like I'm rushing it, let me know as well, because when I get into the flow, I can't stop. And I am so grateful for the sheer number of readers, really, thanks for the support.**


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